TWILIGHT fun

Ok, now i hav’nt read twilight. Or seen it. I saw the trailer and read about 4 pages of the first book and thats the max of my exploration of twilight. And its unbelievably horrible. I have to read the book soon to see if i missed anything funny, because the 4 pages were just hilarious!

The Clichés!

Cliché #1:

The new girl in school who is awkward and clumsy and terrible at everything. How many times have we seen and read this?
Cliché #2:
The new girl falling in love with the hottest guy in school (Edward). No one saw that coming.
Cliché #3:
Despite the new girl’s awkwardness and plain looks, the hottest guy in school falls in love with her. The epitome of originality, am I right? *sarcasm*
Cliché #4:
The new girl is hopelessly in love with the hottest guy in school to the point where you want to slap her because she’ll do literally everything and anything the hottest guy in school will tell her to do just for him.
Cliché #5:
The vampire (who is the hottest guy in school), despite his love for the new girl, thirsts for her blood and struggles to control his bloodlust. Wow.
Cliché #6:
The vampire is a good vampire who doesn’t want to hurt humans, so he feeds off of animals instead. *cough* Louis from Interview with the Vampire *cough*
Cliché #7:
The vampire thinks he’s a monster and that the new girl should stay away from him if she values her life, but of course the new girl risks her life to be with him.
Cliché #8:
The new girl would rather die than not be with the vampire, which is the stupidest thing anyone on this Earth can ever say. Yes, I understand she’s madly and hopelessly and stupidly in love with him, but you only get one life. She isn’t even considerate of the family members she would leave behind who would mourn her death.

COURTESY : Urban dictionary

Did you all hear of Stephen King saying something absolutely true about Stephanie Meyer very recently?

In an interview with USA Weekend, Stephen King, the bestselling author, compared Meyer with J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series.

According to Stephen, “Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people… The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

, to which,

“Meyer’s fans have rushed to her defence. “Steven [sic] King doesn’t know what a real book was if it hit him in the face. He’s just a bloody guy who is jealous of Edward’s good looks,” wrote poster Kiki Alice Cullen. “King is no Gabriel Garcia Marquez so I don’t understand why he gets to say who is a good writer and who is not,” agreed another, while a third, who wished she could “just hit this guy”, suggested that “we twilighters should send him tons of hate mail … just to show him how many twilight fans he just pissed off.”"

and then on random websites,

CHRISTINA says :

WHY are you people even letting these “haters” get to you? They aren’t going to stop ANYONE from liking Twilight. They are miserable, old fucks who think that Stephen King actually writes good books. I mean, Carrie? Come on? Stephen King is OVERFUCKINGRATED. Stop letting them get to you. TWILIGHT FUCKING OWNS.

KTHANKS.

I dont get it…the whole franchise is so bad. The acting, the movie, the books, the storyline, everything is so sad. and yet, human infatuation rules the scene. The (mostly) female fans are just kicking ass with their brilliant logic (as seen above).

A question posed by someone :

What’s this about Edward raping Bella in the Twilight Series?

A few people on forums and stuff who have apparently read the books have referenced Edward as being a rapist for having sex with Bella while she was unconscious. What exactly happened there? know that it’s rape, but I just want to know where in the books it was and what exactly happened to lead up to it.

*ok that is an ABSOLUTE LIE! that DID NOT happen at all anywhere in the series. don’t believe everything you hear. if you read the books you would know that that’s a lie. hope this helps.  -  Twihard4life

*WTF? noo………they are probably haterzzz  -  EminemZZZ_gurl_08

*Stephanie Meyer losing her common sense, I think … hardly cute to write about Edward having sex with Bella while she’s out cold  -  Kathy

*He never rapes her. How stupid, Bella loves him so much and would never not want to have sex with him. They do have sex but Bella consents to it. The only thing i can think of that relates to that is that Edward thinks he is awful for agreeing to it, and refers to himself as an Incubus, which is a vampire that rapes woman in there sleep, and kills them by making them have a half vampire baby, which rips itself out of your womb.

*Technically, having sex with someone unconscious is rape. So yes, he does rape her.  -  Pryde

I’M SO BORED.

lazy bella

This post is so inhuman! wait..un-human

Cats! Those furry atheistic pets which everyone love. I had a cat once, it was named Kat. It gave birth to 3 kittens called katty, katmandu and kat junior. Those kattens were just so frisky and jumpadelic that we had to give two away to an uncle. I sincerely somewhat know that, the uncle just threw them out on the way to his house.

But anyway, we had Kat and Kat junior, and they were almost identical. Kat junior was same like Kat.

The only two differences were that 1) Kat junior had a black spot on his nose while Kat had a pink nose and 2) Kat junior had an externally visible reproductive organ, making him a male.

So you see how hard it was to keep distinguishing from them both!

↑    Kat Junior and Kat ogling pigeons just like they loved to do. Aiii miss those furry little kittys    ↑

If you like cats, there are two following topics you should see, One’s for laughs and one is for safety.

For laughs,

Aaanyway, About the second point, here is an illustration. Be warned.

Cat owners will most definitely realize the signs.

This was Madiha’s brief goan romance with a kitty kat.

In the bandaru clan, other cat lovers include Nishant, nihar and abhishek (to a point).

But we’re all animal lovers nonetheless. Any kind of animal. Lets see what pics i have to prove me point…

I hate seafood, but LOVE live seafood! Hurray for crabs!

Kat chilling on nishu heehaha

The small bat i caught. I caught another one very recently, it just flew into my hand (while indoors and me trying to catch it)… It was zo cute!

A tiny lizard i found in college . That lizard was my entertainment for that day.

Nihar standing beside the great dane pup which stays in the house beside his

Also, the first person to message me a topic which they want to be made, will have it! Even if its just for kicks! omg gogogogo

Rabbits! Those grass eating, endlessly multiplying, tasty..

Dear readers,

I asked a very close friend to give me a topic, whatever was in her mind at that exact point of time. “Rabbits!”

So i was like, “You just ruined me” and she said “I was thinking of this rabbit that comes in cereal ads”. I heard they’re tasty though.

Not the cereal! the rabbits…

But anyway, I feel rabbits are amusing creatures. I had gone to Murgi Chowk near Charminar because a friend wanted to buy an Owl for some mice reason. So i tagged along in search of a pet snake for myself. Though i was left sorely disappointed, my friend got lucky and found two or three owls for sale, one was so tiny and went for 800 bucks and one was HUGE for 3grand. He bought neither, like such a waste fellow. Bah i’m rambling sorry.

We werent allowed to take photos though . But i saw rabbits and rabbits and so many rabbits. Quite a few of them were diseased though, because of the cages in which they were kept. But i still saw so many rabbits making out and what not, even in those confined spaces!

Anyway, i’m not a fan of rabbits, and since i was tricked into showing them, i’ll show you a couple of photos of what ideally are rabbits but in a different sense  :)

‡

Ok this is for Harry Potter fans! I thought the books were decent, but kept getting worse as they were being published. Right from the first book. Anyway THIS was quite funny  :D

I feel the fans might actually do this stuff. (remove the ‘might’)

NICE! Such godly magic

‡

But THIS was the best. I lol’d so bad when i read it  :D  Credit goes to NISHU!  :)

Some guy decided to replace “wand” with “wang” in the Harry Potter Series :

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let’s see the results…

<JonJonB> “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
<JonJonB> “Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> “Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
<JonJonB> “Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. “

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> “Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”

<JonJonB> The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> “Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
<melusine > O__O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> ‘Get – off – me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

hahah such pleasant thoughts

later!

Oh and for you radcliff lovers out there,

From his play. Too Rude!

Horror

Please read this.

The Russian Sleep Experiment.

Its a bit long, so i had it linked.

# _ #

This happened in Illinois.

Driving through the woods in a remote forest area near Midlothian, Illinois, a person Carl saw something white in the distance that looked neither human, nor animal. He grabbed his video camera and took a small video as it got close. He felt something change in him as it looked at him. In a trance he went back to his house, connected the video camera and went insane after he saw what it was..a human body with both feet and palms on the ground, but the head of a unknown creature which was twisted around 180degrees.

Paranormal activity’s a movies i’d recommend to someone who liked the Blair Witch Project. Except for the first fifteen minutes of the movies , i really appreciated the movie for the atmosphere created by just random noises and thumping of the floor or doors. But the solid silence was the creepiest, along with a couple of disturbing scenes. The silence was actually deafening. And its a true story except for some parts.

We need to upload Samara’s video onto this Website to stop the horror.

The terminator preaches awareness, my friends.

When we all saw Terminator 2 waaay back in the 90s , We were awed by the super-duper coolness of a human looking robot. And i remember my favorite scene in the movie, which was when T-800 (Arnold, pronounced ‘Aaownold’) kicks the desk out of the window at Skynet labs and assesses the situation. He then goes about terrifying the officers by blasting away on his minigun and randomly hitting grass and glass everywhere. And then the grenade launcher.

but anyway, the pic is not related to the above paragraph but to the topic of this post.

 

like OUCH! Hahahah

Sorry for the Short-ass post, i’ll get you guys some soon!

Lets have a horror post tomorrow, i ‘researched’ some material for it. Until then,

LONG LIVE POKEBATMAN!

Insert name of post here

The football did happen last night thankfully, but it happened at 1am to 3am. Which was tiring i say! That too with a broken voice, it was hard calling for passes. I had to resort to mouthing my shouts or jumping. But it amazing fun.

I’ve completely lost my voice as of now, i’m speaking only in whispers and the occasional weirdly sounding bit of sound, if i try. I also have the flu. Commmme to meee

Btw, id suggest reading this comic called Girls with slingshots (GwS) – Two girls, a bar and a talking cactus, by Danielle Corsetto. I started reading it and got really hooked onto it. Same as http://xkcd.com/

GwS is found at http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/archive.php?today=817&comic=1

Oh and also Johnny Wander at http://www.johnnywander.com/comics/2

Johnny Wander is drawn and edited by Yuko and Ananth, a couple irl, and the cartoon represent, pretty much, their daily days with friends, such as moving into a new house, etc.

All of them are some of the best comics i’ve read recently.

Just a random kitty pic to keep you all going ‘awww’

Need to take rest! Be good all. I shall come back to yous in a while

A bird in hand is better than two in the bush

In this case we’d have a very chirpy crotch!

ok “my bad”

Let me start off by saying, YAAY TODAY’S CATURDAY!! you know, thursday, friday, CATURDAY

its caturday!

Okay so i read comments of viggy saying he would like to hear more about Vijji’s accident.

We met briefly at ramser about 3 days after the accident because he was grounded for 3 days. He had gone out of the city for a drive with friends, came across a part of the road which was oil slicked, and crashed at 30kmph. Or so he says. At 30kmph. Viggy, of all the people, would know if that coulda been true  :)

For those who dont know garu :

aww he’s zo cute! But anyway he got rapemaxed only because he didnt tell them he was going so far away. Poor garu, we’re all with you psychic-ly, not physically.

Anyway, moving onto more beautiful things, for those of you who STILL havnt seen Final Fantasy VII – Advent children, you readers are the biggest…i mean, you readers should see it. The best graphics ive seen in an animated movie, and its a 2004 movie. Here’s a shot of one of the characters of the movie, Tifa.

No resizing this pic like i did with the others, bitchez! Shes so real, its unreal. Somehow, the japanese make perfection visually attainable, i tell ya.

Ok enough ranting about tifa.

The same day the photo of narcotically-affected pic of garu was put up, here are two others.

Adnaan, affected the same as garu

and a very non-eating and posing nandita

T’was a fun day that day. Adnan and garu were tripping on each other, adnaan was tripping on nandu, i was tripping on nandu, adnan was tripping on me. Basically there was so much tripping that people were going places!

Post gets concluded here brethers. I should mostly be making another one today night, after football and hanging out, coz parents are outta station and everyone’s busy.

Home improved Cast away

Lol…Wilson.

But anyway, Yesterday i was pretty sick and i had to skip Madi’s wedding (M. Aditya for the uninitiated) , (Kiran’s cousin for the un-uninitiated) with dear Ja, although i promised him i’d accompany him. T’was a sad day when i couldnt stick to my oath . But since i was..down with flew (?) haha, i just met Adnan and Anku at ramser where anku’s hair is almost m-m-mass level now.  Like shoulder length all sides except front  :D . Will post pic of that as soon as i get my camera on one.

Vishalgaru broke down and unloaded his tale of woe and misery about his crashed swift  Okay actually not. He’s getting “rape-max” by parents though, partially due to exams, and mainly because he didnt tell anyone that he was going far away from the city by car and mischievous friends. Poor garu.

I liked the mix of christ and simpsons in this photo.

Apologies to anyone who’s offended but the casualness of teh remarks always cracks me up. Oh alright, i shall do unto others what i did unto this.

Wtf? Since when were the hindus into bestiality and horse-rape-maxing?? I so totally love atheism. Bump if you agree

Wat?

This made me go “Wtf??”

The Challenge was not to go “Wtf?!”

You “wtf”, you lose

WTF!

Laughter is the best medicine, but not for dry cough maybe

so hi people

My last post had been in june/july, but considering the ridiculously low traffic my site has been getting, i’m just not feeling the obligation to write . Just kidding. Poor Dhruv took the pains to comment on a few, though it was in ridicule of me.

So are we going to goa?

Especially after Vishalgaru isnt coming, viggy might not come at all, etc etc

But WE are damn well going to go there. What say joylu?

And here we have a very narcotic-al vishyalgaru

Comment away and give me ideas on what to type bleddy.

Oh and is football on when everyone’s in hyd?

For good ol’ memory sake