——————————— THE BANGALORE HERALD —————————–
JCH : Expressing his feelings here today an emotional Joy “not so happy” Rao has said that it was a shame that the other co-founders/owners Dhruv “hurting me” Tandon and Kennith “naming me names” Lobo have behaved in a fashion best forgotten as it has hurt the reputation of the club. Their recent brawl at the clubs board meeting at “the home of joy” has only prompted him to leave the club and also divest his share to Vasu “production gang” Dev who he thinks is the right man to ‘control n tame’ the other Co-owners. At this point however the return of Rohit “I just remenered I returned” Bandaru has objected to the transfer of shares as he thinks that the proximity of his house to JCH gives him the right to own a stake in the club. The clubs members shall decide this at its next Board “brawl” meeting in August.
PADMAJA PLAZA 5TH FLOOR :In a shocking incident today, at the clandestine meeting of Dhruv “conspiring” Tandon and Kenneth “traitor” Lobo it was revealed that they plan to close down the PPUFC which was built with great love and warmth and replace it with Pansy Doves United FC. This was done in order to stop Joy “even deeply hurt” Rao from selling his share to Vasu “fuck off to bangalore re” Dev. We shall keep you informed about the developments.
COLLEGE CRAZYNESS :
PALACE ROAD : After repeated outbursts from the Pally pansies such as “stick that iPOD up ur ass” and “ull eventually need a pair of titties” Joy “happy-pansy” Rao has finally been successfully in making a friend. He was last seen singing “My happiness” by powderfinger.
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS :
FERNHILL GARDENS BANG. : Ex- band member and AIR loyalist Joy “now WH-AIR do I go” Rao has decided to sue AIR and its band members especially Dhruv “suck mine” Tandon for taking all the renumeration and credit for the double platinum hit of their album “THE WIND”. The ex band member now plans to start a band tentatively titled “HAILSTORM” to wipe away the success of “AIR”.
PADMAJA PLAZA : On the recent trip to Tirupati it was heard that God was significantly impressed by Nishant “ Go Goa 365 days” and Rohit “ill pukka come” Bandaru and had given ‘em whatever they wished for. Last heard Rohit wished for a room of Invader Zim episode CDs and wished that it never stops. Nash on the other hand has asked God for better girls in his college and turn the fortunes of his brother Nihar “woah NASR !!” Bandaru onto him.
PANJAGUTTA : Ancoo “babu-lover” was last seen being pounded by Vasu “solid hair” Dev for having cigarettes. Vasu who also has incidentally lost his cellphone has decided to cut his hair after countless insults and being compared to various kinds of aborginies.
That’s all for this edition of the HERALD.
All wights weservwed 2005.