THE BANGALORE HERALD
The practice sessions of the Pansies had stood cancelled after continuous rain bombarded Pansyville a.k.a Marredpally. The club President Dhruv “its been long since I went to college” Tandon in a press release today said that this has hampered the much awaited training sessions and efforts are on to convince the Board of Directors Joy “hahaha … this is what you get for conspiring” Rao and Kenny “desert rose” Lobo for building a new indoor stadium. Staying with the Pansies the club is facing strong criticism for not allowing its Youth team to train and occupying the ground most of the time. The Youth team as we all know consists of the budding talent with stalwarts such as Cliff “ouch! stop tackling me” Lobo and Rohan + chotu Rohan.
MAHENDRA HILLS :
Star Defender Dhruv “slide tackling” Tandan has been down with a bout of Flu. He is expected to the side in a weeks time. Medikit Millionaire Rohit Bandarovich, his aide Nishant “terminator” Bandaru and Vasu “I hope he cut his hair” Dev have called upon him. In unconfirmed reports neighbors could hear shouts of “ and I thought Docotors children never get ill”.
In another theory suggested by a daily (name withheld) it was possible that the Flu could have come from an excess of dog duty. (AHEM !)
CBIT (pronounced C-bit) :
Early on Monday morning CBIT announced that it would not be giving hall-tickets to those students who have less than 75%. The HERALD has received reports that Vasu “u see this year ill have atleast 85%” Dev has been diagnosed with shock therapy. He was admitted into a private hospital following a nervous breakdown.
PALACE ROAD :
The “college of joy” has shortlisted Joy “dad can I quit college?” Rao along with 20 others to represent the college a various fests for quiz, if he is selected among these 20. He quite quizzed about how he made it to the Quiz. However it still SUCKS!
MAHENDRA HILLS :
The owner/founder/bassist of the air band “AIR” has decided to defend his actions in the lawsuit brought against him. He said that he was infact planning to record a second album after the smash hit album “WIND”. The new album, which was being called “HURRICANE”, intends to knock out “HAILSTORM” from the top of the charts, which has remained there for 6 weeks now. However the lead singer was admittedly making a re-make of “HIGH HOPES”.
ATHENS OH. :
The eldest of the Bandaru Bros. Inc Rahul “I went as baap and came/coming back as dude” has once again dramatically/astonishingly and of course expectantly has had a ligament injury while playing Basket Ball. This comes as a serious blow to his career and also to Pansies basketball contemporaries who play week in and week out beside them in JCH. (Btw mast pic. in Hi5 ral)
FERNHILL GARDENS :
In a devastating incident Joy “broken wings” Rao’s iPod gifted to him by his bro, right earphone has been damaged. This took place after many a curse from many a people had struck his iPod many a time. He was last seen singing “Gifts and Curses” by Yellowcard while watching “The Replacements” for improving his morale.
Kenny “I cant find an Oasis” Lobo will be returning to join the pansies on Sunday the 31st (does July have 31 days?). He has been away (read this part as if you read a great tale okie) climbing the heights of treacherous mountains, walking the miles of the unforgiven sands and going the distances that others dared not. He conquered the camel, tamed the vulture and poked the thorny cacti themselves. Alas! he returns after great conquests and much achievement bringing with him the Tales of Travellers never failing to amuse one, never failing to entice one about the riches concealed in the depths of the concealed world. Doth shalt not forget the pains undergone he was last heard quoting. (the English in this paragh was lame done so only to make it funny.)
That’s all for this edition of The HERALD.